4.30.2005

random crap

Current mood: fucking bored

Stuff you (probably) don't know about me:

-The light in my bedroom has been out for days because I can't reach it.

-I always type "becasue" wrong. My fingers are dyslexic, I think.

-My favorite colors are orange and grey, even though I typically wear black.

-I have wired a house, but hooking up a stereo confounds me everytime.

-Enchiladas are my comfort food.

-I once had 10 piercings, but am down to 6.

-I got a little crazy with the super glue the other day and attached my fingers to my watch, and my watch to my desk. (Yes, by mistake!)

-I haven't been home to see my mom or brother or friends in 3 years. I miss them every day.

-My math skills are atrocious, but at least I can spell.

-I have an affection for lists.

-I could really use a cigarette right now.

-Just when I start to think the human race isn't so bad after all, someone changes my mind.

-The dog is barking incessantly at nothing at all. This is nothing new.

-I may be developing an addiction to myspace.

-Sometimes I get lonely, but most of the time I just want to be left alone.

-I had a dream last night that I shaved all my hair off, but when I looked in the mirror it was really long. I have no clue what that means.

-It bugs me that I am devoid of any musical talent. I chalk it up to irony.

-I have never mowed a lawn. If you have seen my yard, you know this is true.

-I've never had a nickname, or had a song written for me. I suppose this is a good thing, I haven't had a cruel nickname or been the subject of a sad song.

-My bologna doesn't have a first name. I am not in the habit of naming my lunch. Perhaps I should start.

-I need another cigarette.

-Sometimes I forget that "being honest" doesn't necessarily mean "saying everything on my mind." This gets me in to a lot of trouble.

-This list may be edited for content when I am feeling less honest.

-To the three of you still reading at this point, I extend my sincerest apologies. I am quite sure you have something better to do.

-I think the horsemen of the apocalypse are less of a concern then the loss of my internet connection.

-I am not real sure where I was going with this list, but it seemed like a good idea at the time. (like most things that aren't really good ideas.)

Currently listening:
Led Zeppelin 1st
By Led Zeppelin
Rele

4.29.2005

hmmmmm

Current mood: thinkin'

I am realizing that my new job may not be all it is cracked up to be.
This worries me.
My last gig, I would only work thurs-sat, and still have money to put in savings.
This one, I made like about a bill last week.
I am not pleased with this.
Really, 'not pleased' is putting it lightly.
I have a few options:

a.) grovel for old job back, but this involves ass-kissing -which as I assume you can fathom, is not my forte.

b.) take my friend's advice and start stripping in my spare time, but I doubt this will work. I have no issue with nudity, I think my issue is with safety, the safety of the people that are sure to piss me off in such a climate.

c.) get a real job. (ie: that has a day shift and I have to dress like a stiff, ugh.) the only benefit here is that insurance can be a beautiful thing when you tend to abuse yourself as I do. But such an endeavor could be tricky with my ever present course load.

d.) Utilize my talents, as my high school counselor was fond of saying, and create the field of "professional concert goer." With as many show as I see, It is almost a given that I am truly an expert by now. Unless my favorite publication (hey there Rank and Revue!) happens to be looking for absolutely inexperienced but still somewhat talented writer who loves and lusts for Austin's rock scene, I am outta luck.

Obviously b is the only completely left field option.
Perhaps I should get my resume together, and start writing some shit to sell.
As usual any opinions, and/or advice would be appreciated.

Currently listening:
Union
By Puya
Release date: By 12 June, 2001

4.28.2005

meaningless shit you don't want to read

Current mood: listless

12.01am, and no beer.
What is the world coming to?
I suppose I could go out, but funds are severly restricted.
That and it is wed nite,
=ain't much going on.

This weekend is going to be fun for everyone but me I think.
George Clinton is playing at Auditorium Shores,
Eeyore's b-day,
pecan street festival,
The Big Nasty @ Stardust,
Shrapnel, By any Means Neccessary, and Powderburn @ backroom.
And I gotta work.
This must be karma from a past life catching up with me.
Fuck.
I think I need to get a real day job,
so I can be a 9pm rockstar,
as opposed to a 4am trainwreck.

I am really beginning to think I was hitler in my last incarnation.
That is the only thing that could explain my luck in the past week or so.
It's funny because 2-3 weeks ago I was the fucking shit,
atop the whole damn world.

Ah well, bad things come,
and good things go,
and such is the state of affairs.
I try not to let anything really get me down,
but, it doesn't help to have the same damn sad song playing in your head,
OVER AND OVER AGAIN!!!!!!
The song stuck in my head is really pretty, and I love the tune-
but fuck man it has been in my head for like,
I dunno, a week and a half straight?!?!!?
Why couldn't I get stuck with something upbeat,
Sublime?
or Blues Explosion?
or "Today is the greatest..."etc by the Pumpkins.
No, instead I have Linda Perry singing about drug addiction and suicide.

Cheery fucking stuff folks.

So now I'm listening to Acid Bath which is pretty dark,
but at this point I will listen to Brittney "street trash" Spears
in order to change my inner soundtrack.
(hmmm, ok, I take it back, no I wouldn't.)

I promise to cheer up.
Really I do!
Now go get me a beer.

"find myself awake counting sad days
1-2-3 that's too many for me " (aaaargggghhhh!!! make it stop!!!)

Currently listening:
Paegan Terrorism Tactics
By Acid Bath
Release date: By 29 October, 1996

4.23.2005

witty title goes here



I quit...
Current mood: hopeful and depressed

No really.
I mean it this time.
Apparently I am from a different planet.

Today was most likely the worst day of my life.
(I am sure more bad days are to come, hence "most likely")
I get an email terminating a friendship. (An email!)
Someone who I felt was a best friend decided that it wasn't enough.

Ouch.

Obviously this called for heavy drinking.

After making like 15 bucks at work,
and being despondent,
I called all my Austin friends...
Several times.
Answering machine, voicemail, busy signal. Repeat.
I got it all, but no real people.
Dude, I am there for all of you when you need me.
WTF???

Anyways.
I went to the backroom and played pool by myself for a few hours.
I didn't think it was possible, but I lost to Myfuckingmotherfuckingself..
Yep.
Scratched on the 8 ball of all fucking things.

Tonight's only consolation was the velvet purple sky.
And a late night phone call...
For whatever reason you like me enough to play me songs on the phone.
I really needed that.
Thank you, you know who you are.


Fuck today.
Can we just skip ahead to tomorrow?

Currently listening:
Essential Bob Dylan
By Bob Dylan

4.18.2005

long ass blog


Current mood: amped the fuck up

So I just got off of work.
For some reason I am always exhausted when I go in,
and amped the fuck up when I get out.
Go figure.
Could be the music I am listening to...
(in fact give me a sec to bop around the apartment.)
...
(ok, back.)
I had a crazy cool week/end.
I didn't get shit accomplished. Oh well.
It was not much of a toss up:
math homework or live music....
no contest folks.

Weds I met up with this hottie and we stumbled across
this badass bluesey rock band, John McVey and the Stumble,
which just so happened to be the first band I saw in when I moved to Austin,
and haven't had the opportunity to see them since,
and they were playing in the same bar that I saw them in 5 years ago.
Weird.

I missed the Vespirian Sorrow show on Friday, (sorry Donni, next time for sure)
because I was convinced to go downtown with some new friends.
I met up with them at the bitter end, (aka. frat boy/sorostitute heaven)
During our time there I did nothing but try and get outta there,
oh and get hit on by frat boys.
Why why why, would a frat boy EVER think that I was interested???
Or better yet why the hell would they be interested in me,
considering we come from different fucking galaxys?
I shudder to consider the motive.
Eww.
Anyway, the party decides to move elsewhere.
To Oslo of all fucking places.
If you don't know what Oslo is,
it is one of those "oh-so-trendy-velvet-rope" dance clubs.
It was there that I drew the line.
I probably pissed off my new friends,
(if so, It was not intended...)
but there was NO FUCKING WAY I would set foot in that place.
I have dignity, people. Dignity!
So I hightailed it solo to the Ritz, where I proceeded to do numerous tequila shots.
It worked, I felt better immediately.
I've never been so out of my element, and it wasn't pretty.
Let us not speak of this again.
...
I then was rescued from downtown debauchery by this awesome, kickass guy,
but the time has not yet come for that blog.
ahem, anyways....

So Saturday night I went to go see this band called
The Big Nasty.
If you ever get the chance to see these guys, do it.
They have the raw energy of AC/DC and the sexy sound of Zeppelin,
with some southern style of Black Crows thrown in for good measure.
Go see these guys before they start selling out arenas, ok?

I only got to catch half the set since I had to work.
Fucking work, always getting in the way of my fun.
I had an Audioslave ticket, but I had to work.
So be it.
I am desperate for the cash anyway,
and I passed on the ticket to a very deserving individual,
so all is well with the world.

Thursday is the Black Label Society show,
which I am totally geared up for.
Kenny, get your fucking shift covered already,
since you're the one that got me into them to begin with.
And Matt, I will kick you ass at pool, please don't shit yourself. K?

This blog is entirely too long, I know.
Dont say you weren't warned.



"I do not play no blues, I play rock 'n roll" -Jon Spencer

Currently listening:
Acme
By Jon Spencer Blues Explosion
Release date: By 23 June, 1999

4.09.2005

all work and no play etc etc,,,,

Current mood: irate

Fuck.
I am feeling really violent today.
I think I know why...
I am going through concert withdrawl.
I have been so fucking busy-I'm becoming a basket case.
It is finally warm enough to go see some out door shows without wearing a burka,
and I am stuck working.
I'm working 5 days a week, and have school for the other two.
Not too bad, but they keep giving me morning shifts...
Don't they know I get up just in time for my evening shifts?!
So instead of blowing out my eardrums on red river, I'm stuck trying
to make my insomniac self sleep at night for a change,
so I am not a zombie when I get to work at 10 am.
It doesn't work.
It doesn't fucking WORK!!!!
I still can't sleep.
I am still a zombie at work.
At this rate I may as well go out anyway, but I really can't go to work still drunk, which is what would happen if I went out tonight.
This is my what second, third weekend where I sit at home dicking around online?
Pathetic.
Well, at least I will be busy next week:
Friday, Vesperian Sorrow @backroom (if I can leave work early...)
Sunday, Audioslave @ Austin Music hall (not metal, I know, I know. fuck off)
Thursday, Black Label Society @backroom.
Anyone know any other good hardcore shows coming up?
I need to get out some aggression.
C'mon, I'm dyin here...

Currently listening:
Vulgar Display of Power
By Pantera
Release date: By 25 February, 1992

la la la do do dododoooo

For fuck's sake...
Current mood: terminal boredom

Some how I managed to get the assloads of homework I had to do, done.
So now what?
Funny how when I actually finish the crap on my to do list I get immediatly bored.
Here it is 10PM on a Tuesday.
I could go out!
Oh no, I'm broke because I'm waiting for my job to start and can't spend any $.
Fuck.
I could call some peeps to come visit!
But my house is a wreck,
and if they wanted/had time to hang, they'd call me.
I guess I could... clean the house!
Ugh. Nah.
I could fuck around on the internet like I always do and pretend its fun today for some reason...?
Yawn. I am boring myself....

Currently listening:
Vol 3: (The Subliminal Verses)
By Slipknot
Release date: By 25 May, 2004

4.06.2005

Chemistry is a complex science,

(Current mood: comtemplative/buzzed)

but it's easy to recognize if it's present. Or not. At least for me.

The new blog/meeting people online thing is pretty new to me,
prior to my addition (addiction?) to it I was a fan of the Austin Chronical online personals.
I like this venue better, mainly for the simple lack of the word "personals."
I know, I know, it's all a matter of semantics, but let me dwell within my illusions (delusions?)..
The implication of the term "personals" smacks of desperation.
I realize that blind dating has come a long way.
Your great aunt Ruth is no longer picking up chicks for you at the supermarket,
but there is still the stigma...

I met S.U. online, (my last serious boyfriend, and one of my current best friends,) and we hit it off right away. I probably would have never met him otherwise, so I have to give credit where it is due.
S.U. was the first person I had met through the "personals,"
and looking back on it, it was a matter of pure luck that we got along so well.
But there was always that awkward moment when you are asked:
"So how'd ya'll meet?"
My reply to Mom was a complete fabrication:
"At the laundromat. yeah. We had a facinating discussion over the rinse cycle."
See, if I had met him on my space I could have said:
"On an online friendship network."
Or some such bullshit.

Yes, meeting online has it's advantages, such as an idea to how much another person's interests match your own.
But do those similarities mean that the two of you (or three for you swingers,)
are meant to be? (Or meant to be this week?)
I have my doubts....
Between the new site and Auschron, I have talked to lots of folks,
exchanged email addys with a few, exchanged numbers with even less,
and met about 10 in person.
With the exception of 2-3 people, of all the things that we had in common,
the chemistry just wasn't there.
(I am not talking about lust, just the rapport that you have with the people that you end off keeping in your life, in one capacity or another.)
(that said, the few I did feel some chemistry with are just as busy as me, but that is another blog altogether.)
(sorry for the gratuitous use of parenthesis, I have punctuation ADD.)
I am not suggesting that I should run off and date a right wing republican frat boy, I want do to meet people I have something in common with....

But "friendship network," or what ever we decide to rename "personals,"
can't predict chemistry, and damn, that chemistry is a powerful thing.

They see you, you see them, they play the "look at you, look away, get caught looking at you again," game....

Maybe I just need to detach myself from the computer and get outta the house.

Currently listening:
Bloody Kisses (Dig)
By Type O Negative
Release date: By 17 May, 1994

4.03.2005

you know you are bored when:
Current mood: wide awake damnit

TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name:Incognita
Birthday:July II
Birthplace:Austin, TX
Current Location:Same
Eye Color:brown
Hair Color:various
Height:5'4 in boots
Right Handed or Left Handed:right
Your Heritage:My parents were hippies-does that count?
The Shoes You Wore Today:Frye boots
Your Weakness:beer
Your Fears:boredom/ No beer
Your Perfect Pizza:jalepeno and pineapple
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:Learn how to walk in stilettos I will never wear anyway
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:lol. But it gets the point across...
Thoughts First Waking Up:noooooooo
Your Best Physical Feature:you tell me
Your Bedtime:4am
Your Most Missed Memory:my what?
Pepsi or Coke:Pepsi or diet coke
MacDonalds or Burger King:yeck, neither.
Single or Group Dates:one on one
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:rasberry tea
Chocolate or Vanilla:mexican vanilla
Cappuccino or Coffee:coffee, black
Do you Smoke:yep
Do you Swear:like a sailor
Do you Sing:yes
Do you Shower Daily:of course
Have you Been in Love:more than once
Do you want to go to College:already there...
Do you want to get Married:are you proposing?
Do you belive in yourself:to an extent
Do you get Motion Sickness:nope
Do you think you are Attractive:i'm alright, for a white girl
Are you a Health Freak:no
Do you get along with your Parents:yes
Do you like Thunderstorms:who doesn't?
Do you play an Instrument:kazoo
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:is this a trick question??
In the past month have you Smoked:duh.
In the past month have you been on Drugs:nope, i'm high on life. (and lonestar beer)
In the past month have you gone on a Date:several
In the past month have you gone to a Mall:yes, for work shirts
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:no. box of thin mints, maybe.
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:no way man.
In the past month have you been on Stage:rock n roll karaoke after 4 shots of tequila and 5 beers
In the past month have you been Dumped:no that was last month.
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:can't say that I have.
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:pens from the bank. (not the chained ones, not that much of a rebel)
Ever been Drunk:good god who writes these things?
Ever been called a Tease:am i still answering this crap?
Ever been Beaten up:yep
Ever Shoplifted:nope
How do you want to Die:chinese water torture. i mean really what an asinine question.
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:professor
What country would you most like to Visit:England
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color:who cares?
Favourite Hair Color:again no preference
Short or Long Hair:doesn't matter
Height:taller than me. (doesn't take much)
Weight:non-issue
Best Clothing Style:original
Number of Drugs I have taken:Oh we are back to me now eh?
Number of CDs I own:less than i want
Number of Piercings:6
Number of Tattoos:10
Number of things in my Past I Regret:3

CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!
Currently listening:
Danzig III: How the Gods Kill
By Danzig
Release date: By 18 June, 2002