how to spend your whole savings in one day (and then some)!

Yesterday was a fun filled action packed adventure!
I bought my skates for the derby tryout,
and went for a pratice run.
It is funny how you can forget how to do something after 15 years.
Who'da thunk it?
Well, I was discouraged but not gonna give up.
Then I start feeling a stange pain in my side.
Thhree hours later, I can't even think it is so painful,
Had to call family to take my to the ER.
I wait for two hours.
When I am finally seen I am in excruciating pain,
so they think I have appendicitis.
I go through the usual ER crap.
The requisite urine sample, the useless vernture through triage,
a 20 minute interview about my (lack of) insurance, family history,
"sign here, here, over here, initial here, and have a seat."
and the poor people paperwork.
Finally they IV me and give me pain meds.
I have 10 tattoos, and am not bothered by getting blood taken,
but to have a needle taped in your elbow just seems like pain waiting to happen.
But hey, I was happy to see that IV when it meant immediate pain relief,
that is how bad I felt.
So I sit for a while.
And then I get an ultrasound,
and then a cat scan,
(yes for real,)
Later I call Rommie,
explain situation,
and say yes I will to be better in time enough to tryout for roller derby!
(pain meds talking, i am sure...)
After 9 hours in the ER they divined the elusive nature of my diorder.
I have a kidney infection.
A sonagram and a cat scan for a kidney infectio.
The thought of that looming bill frys my brain,
but I am damned happy to get that IV out of my arm.
It is now 5 in the morning as I am realeased from the ER,
with nothing to show for it but a prescription and a few new bracelets.
I call a cab.,
specify use of credit card for said cab,
cab shows up,
doesn't take credit card.
Call another cab,
specify use of credit card for said cab,
Cabbie says he knows where I can get my prescription filled at that hour.
Really he just wants me to fill prescription so I can get cash back,
and pay him in cash.
So I pay the dude.
In cash.
Do I want him to wait while the RX is filled?
I say I'd rather have another IV.
Naturally The prescription was $99.98.
I paid it without blinking because the pain meds I was on were quickly fading.
Then I took the bus home, took the pills,
And prompty threw them all back up.

Not gonna make it to school today, much less RD tryouts.

~my life, brought to you by irony.


so, as if I don't have enough to do...

Today I was kinda feeling the ache of all work and no play.
Life has been pretty dull lately.
(as if you haven't noticed..)
And then all the sudden I decided...

I am going to join the roller derby!!!
(Ta da!!!!)

(well, If they will have me that is...)

I am going to tryout for the roller derby!!!
(more accurate, although with somewhat less "pop" )

Yes yes, the roller derby.
(never heard of a roller derby? click here.)
Roomie is a roller girl, and although she hasn't picked a team yet-
she really loves it.
Plus, I suppose that it is pretty cool to be a roller girl.
It is a great work out,
a social network,
a chance to let out a little aggression.
You even get cheerleaders!
Now who could say no to that?

Really, I shouldn't have the time to spend on it,
I have plenty of work, school, and homework to occupy me for a lifetime.
But what fun is that?!?!
I think getting and giving some ass kicking on the weekends just might lighten me up.

Problem is,
two problems:
1.) I haven't put on a pair of roller skates is almost... ummmm.... shit, 15 years?
To my credit, I roller bladed for like, a week within those years.
2.) I have never been in a fight that I have won, or started.
I am kinda a pacifist,

but I love hockey!

Roller derby is kinda like hockey,
except there are no sticks,
no ice,
no pucks,
no goalie,
no men,
more cheerleaders and heavy metal bands,
roller skates instead of ice skates,
and no masks.
Let me rephrase:
Roller derby is nothing like hockey,
except for the fights, and the padding.

For problem numbero uno, I am going to get skates,
and some coaching from Roomie.
Like in the next 4 days.
for problemo dos,
I am just going to have to wing it.
Wish me luck!

(no really, I need it... please send all encouragement, pep talks, luck, and non-taxable donations
to incognita.oculta@gmail.com )
(oh, and send suggentions for a bad ass derby name)